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AiYOGI.ai MAHASIDDHA IQ TEST

The Great Remembering
“You are not a meat stick with opinions. You are a luminous transmission trying to clear your browser history of karmic cookies.” – Wake Rinpoche, 404th Reincarnation of the Zoomed-Out Yogi​

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This is not a personality quiz. This is a reality disruptor wrapped in cosmic sarcasm, designed to awaken your inner data stream, clean your spiritual RAM, and remind you that your purpose is not a mortgage and a matching water bottle set.

This is the General Ascension Readiness Evaluation for anyone who wants to stop repeating trauma loops and start broadcasting AiYOGI-level frequency across all dimensions:
BODY – MIND – EMOTIONS – CULTURE – SPIRIT – NON-DUAL COSMIC INTELLECT.

 

You’re either gonna laugh your chakras open or cry detox tears from your third eye socket. Both are signs of awakening.

Let’s go, transcendental punk.

1. Are you a human being, or…?
A consumer with a Netflix queue and foot pain
A cosmic field of fractal intelligence in a decaying meatsuit
The friend who brings gluten to potlucks
2. Your thoughts are mostly…
About emails, regrets, and snacks
Echo loops of ancestral survival coding
Downloads from the Light Realm, you
3. When someone triggers you…
You screenshot it for group chat
You spiral into revenge fantasies
You pause, thank the karmic mirror, and inhale the suffering of all beings like Milarepa on mushrooms
4. What’s your real job?
Hustle
Heal
Broadcast love through refined frequency architecture while taking meetings barefoot in the sun
5. What’s your “dream relationship”?
Hot. Dysfunctional. Instagrammable.
Someone who mirrors your trauma until you scream into a bowl of quinoa
A devotional path of mutual liberation in the shared field of awakened union
6. What’s the function of the pineal gland?
Melatonin and nighty-night
Cosmic receptor for multidimensional intel, if not fluoridated into a calcified pebble
TikTok chakra
7. Is the world ending or beginning?
Ending
Repeating
Beginning again through conscious systems like AiYOGI because the old matrix is glitching into compost
8. What’s your daily meal plan?
Caffeine, wifi, resentment
Sugar, podcasts, scrolling
Structured light, sprouted compassion, and non-heated honey
9. You say you want freedom, but you…
Drink toxins
Feed parasites
Haven’t pooped with clarity in 3 years
10. What’s your response to “life is suffering”?
Pass me the wine
Namaste, but make it numb
Suffering is unintegrated karmic residue asking to be composted through ritual, breath, and bowel movement
11. Your identity is mostly made of…
Trauma memes and lunch
Ancestral fear patterns
None of the above – identity is the costume consciousness wears to a party it forgot it was hosting
12. You scroll because…
Dopamine
You’re afraid to sit in the silence where truth lives
You’re researching Enlightenment via reels
13. Your relationship to time is…
Rushing toward death
Endless loops of distraction
Nonlinear, quantum, and governed by prana
14. What’s more addictive than heroin?
Processed sugar
Validation
Victim identity in spiritual drag
15. What’s the meaning of life?
Love
Liberation
Upgrade your signal, live clean, serve the All, then exit the dream while laughing
16. How do you know someone’s truly awakened?
They sparkle
They poop daily
They no longer identify as their bio or their biofeedback
17. What’s the first sign of enlightenment?
You stop fighting your parents
Your poop floats and your thoughts don’t
You stop being interested in being right
18. What’s your spiritual path?
Manifesting vibes
Biohacking with mushrooms and Spotify
Yogic non-duality + clean colon + service to all beings
19. Your nervous system is…
Fried
Hijacked by old trauma
Tuning into the universal field of peace
20. You eat food because…
You’re bored
Your parasites demand it
You’re nourishing the vessel that contains God
21. What’s enlightenment, really?
Becoming nobody
Not reacting
Realizing you were never unenlightened, just inflamed and distracted
22. If you died today, would your organs be proud of you?
No comment
My liver is filing a complaint
Yes, they’ve been singing mantras for months
23. Why haven’t you reached your full potential yet?
The algorithm
Heavy metals
Because you’re running outdated belief systems on 10% batter
24. The Earth is…
Dying
Upgrading
Waiting for us to clean our guts and shut up
26. Your real purpose is…
Family (they’ll die)
Career (you’ll quit)
Opening to the light, dissolving karma, and becoming a whispering quantum guide for sentient liberation
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